Modeling Behavior for Quality Personal Connection

[Dr. Brandon McDaniel] So how can we connect then? And how can we help our children and teens to be able to connect? The thing I want to focus on today, primarily, is that we need to be modeling the behaviors that we want to see in our children. We need to really listen to them when they’re talking to us. We need to give them that undivided attention, at least when we can. I know sometimes we’ve got work. We’ve got all these other things competing for our attention. So I don’t mean to make it sound like it’s super easy, but there are moments when we can disconnect. And some of those might be more than you think. And look at them and make eye-contact and show them how the eye-contact is really important to you and, you know, not have it where it’s like this mediated conversation where you’re staring at your device over here while they’re talking to you and going, “Uh-huh. Yeah, okay, Yeah.” Well, if you do – I mean, it’s a completely different feel and interaction of quality and it gives different signals and it teaches them something different about how technology should be valued during times of connection and also showing them ways that you personally manage or put down or regulate some of your phone use and then being able to see how you work through that and living up to your expectations. If you have particular expectations about how and when they should use their device, then we need to be very careful as parents as well that we’re modeling those behaviors because the more that they see us do those things, the more likely they are to also do those things.