Growing Up Online: Understanding Youth Internet Trends, Subcultures, and Relationships

00:00:11 – Introductions by Executive Director of Children and Screens Kris Perry.

00:01:55 – Moderator Yalda T. Uhls on including youth voices in developing digital content.

00:08:11 – Trevor Boffone on constructing youth culture through dance on social media.

00:17:30 – Moderator follow-up: Is online identity development different from traditional ways of offline identity development?

00:20:36 – Chia-chen Yang on self-presentation and identity.

00:29:52 – Moderator follow-up: What ways of participating in online cultures are positive for youth development? How can parents support children’s mental health in this process?

00:33:09 – Sara Grimes on video games as a space where children’s culture unfolds.

00:45:27 – Bradley Bond on parasocial relationships and online communities.

00:59:12 – The panel addresses questions from the audience.

00:59:37 – Q&A: What kinds of real-world skills do children gain from online gaming, especially for neurodiverse children?

01:03:45 – Q&A: How can a parent know when their child is using social media or online games in an addictive or problematic way?

01:05:05 – Q&A: Should parents keep up with online trends to connect with their child, or is that embarrassing for the child?

01:08:35 – Q&A: What role does AI play in online relationships?

01:19:32 – Q&A: How can parents assess what is and is not healthy for children within different subcultures?

01:22:33 – Concluding thoughts from moderator.

01:25:02 – Wrap-up with Children and Screens’ Executive Director Kris Perry.

[Kris Perry]: Hello and welcome to Growing Up Online: Understanding Youth Internet Trends, Subcultures, and Relationships, the final installment of our spring 2025 Ask the Experts webinar series. Kris Perry, Executive Director of Children and Screens. From collaborative gaming to parasocial fan communities, today’s youth are immersed in online experiences that extend well beyond the screen, shaping their interests, relationships, identities, and offline lives. In this session, we’ll explore where and how children and teens are spending their time online, and examine the cultures and connections they’re forming there. What do these digital dynamics mean for their development and sense of self? And how can parents and caregivers offer the right support? Let’s get started. I’d like to introduce you to today’s host, Yalda T. Uhls, PhD. Dr. Uhls is the Founder and CEO of the Center for Scholars and Storytellers at UCLA, which is the only youth-centered organization to bridge the gap between social science research and media creation to help storytellers better reflect the lives of adolescents. She is also an internationally recognized research scientist, educator, author, and expert on the science of media and adolescent development. She is also an adjunct professor at UCLA and former executive at major studios, including MGM and Sony. Her research focuses on how digital media influences youth development, and she is the author of Media Moms and Digital Dads: A Fact-Not-Fear Approach to Parenting in the Digital Age. Welcome, Yalda. 

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs: Thank you. Thank you so much for having me for this very important panel. I’m going to tell you a little bit about the work I do, and then a little bit about what our research finds around Gen Alpha and Gen Z, and then hand it off to our amazing panelists. So, I run the Center for Scholars and Storytellers at UCLA, you heard a little bit about my bio. We are a nonprofit, we work out of UCLA in the psychology department, and we work at the intersection of storytellers, which is what I used to be– I used to be a movie executive, scholars– I am now a developmental psychologist studying how young people use media– and then youth. I’m a mom of two Gen Z kids, and this is my research focus. We work with a number of collaborators, including Dr. Bond, who is here on this panel for all of our work. Hundreds of them from around the world. What makes us very unique is we work with industry, and we try to go to where young people are with media, and we try to make that media better by bringing in youth voice and research insights. So these are some of the organizations we work with. So what are– our central purpose is we’re working to change harmful narratives to more positive narratives, and we work with the people who create the stories that hundreds and hundreds of millions of kids from around the world, teens and young adults, consume. So in the U.S., it’s very important to understand, and it’s probably happening on a worldwide basis, the U.S. demographics are changing. So, you can see from this graph that adults in the U.S. were majority White, but children under 18 are people of color, majority people of color. So as we’re starting to think about young people in the future, the majority has changed and different groups are growing rapidly. And a lot of the work we do at the center is around authentic representation, which young people really care about, and they have expectations for this. So, we’re trying to get the content that studios and companies make to reflect young people as they really are, and the parents who have birthed the young people and who care about these issues as well. One of the things that we do at the Center for Scholars and Storytellers, we have a youth program, and we bring young people into the conversation. We have them read scripts, we teach them how to do research, and they talk to studio makers. And we’re very, very proud of bringing in these very diverse young people from across the country for our program. We also do research to lift up teen voices and understand what teens want to see in the world. So, we have a study. We’ve done it three years, our fourth one will come out in October, called Teens and Screens. It’s been written about all over all of these press, people, and written about all over the country. So, if you want to know what teens care about in media, it is one of the main studies that talks about that. In particular, I just wanted to share a few research items from our research. We also do teen snapshots, and this one was particularly poignant. We asked young people out of 15 goals, what do they care about? What do they want to see? What do they– what are their goals for life? And contrary to what everybody– many adults think, where they think that teens only care about being rich, they only care about being famous, their number one goal was to feel safe. And their second goal was to be kind. So teens can very much surprise you. And I think they are also very anxious. As many of you know, there’s a lot of stuff going on in the world that makes them fearful, and they want to be safe. Another thing to think about, I’m sure we’ll hear more about this with the panel, is they are a gaming generation. Gaming is one of the things that they all do, and more girls are gaming. And they– one of our surveys, this is somebody from Roblox, and many, many, young people play Roblox as I’m sure you know. What our study found– that they find community in gaming, and we also found that they’re really interested in seeing more friendships portrayed in the content. That’s what drives them. So I am about to hand it off, but I wanted to put up these two QR codes. If– and I’m sure that Children and Screens will pass around resources afterwards– if you want to sign up for our newsletter or our tech resource for research insights. I would, you know, welcome it. These are all free and we would love to be able to share with you our work. So, I’m going to stop the share and ask our next panelists to come up. So our first panelist is, Trevor Boffone, and Trevor has a really interesting background and I’m really, really excited to hear about his work because it seems like he sits at the intersection of young people and what they’re doing, and also, perhaps he’s a bit of an influencer. He teaches in the Women’s Gender and Sexuality Studies Program at the University of Houston. His work using TikTok and Instagram with his students was featured on Good Morning America, ABC News, Inside Edition, Access Hollywood, among numerous national and local media platforms. He’s the author of Renegades: Digital Dance Cultures From Dubsmash to TikTok, and TikTok Broadway: Musical Theater Fandom in the Digital Age, and he’s also the editor of TikTok Cultures in the U.S. So, I’m really excited to hear what he has to say. So I’ll take it– I’ll go off camera and listen to your work. 

[Dr. Trevor Boffone]: Thank you so much for the invitation, I’m really excited to be here. I also will say that being here is one of those moments where you reflect on your life, and I’m like, “How did I end up here?” Because essentially ten years ago, I would never have been thinking about this topic. But in 2018, I started teaching high school again. I had done here the high school thing before, I went and got a Ph.D., and I was like, “I am going to be a college professor.” And then as the world– as my journey would have it, I ended up teaching high school. And in 2018 was– it was an interesting moment in this conversation around screens and young people and teenagers, because that is the moment when Dubsmash became available in the U.S. again, and when TikTok became available in the United States. And so, dramatically overnight, things changed. And so I was a high school teacher. I am no longer a high school teacher, but I did– I did my time at a public school in Houston, Texas, a Title 1 school, where I was immersed in this culture of teenagers who were obsessed with TikTok and who were obsessed with making content on TikTok. And the way that I really got into this was not just being there and being their teacher, but I actually showed an interest from day one. So rather than tell them, you know, “you’re not supposed to do this” or “this isn’t something to do during school,” right, “put your phones away,” so on and so forth, when we were finished with class, I would see them making these videos and I showed a genuine interest. At this point, everyone here has probably seen a dancing video on Instagram, Facebook, or whatever platform that you’re on. But in 2018, this was very much a rare thing that we weren’t used to seeing. And so I asked questions from day one to my students. A genuine– I showed a genuine interest. “Who was choreographing these dances? How are you circulating these dances? How was creative credit, like artist credit, dance credit, being given or not given. You know, what are the racial, social politics of what’s happening. And also, what is the– what are these platforms, right? I was used to sort of posting my pictures on Instagram, and this was an entirely different world. And so being immersed in this world, they very much invited me to participate. And so my students very much started to dance with me. We went viral immediately. They would post content on their Snapchat, on their Instagram, on their TikTok, so on, and so forth. And they started going viral. And then in February 2019, they made me make this Instagram account. Now I have– Trevor has an Instagram account with about 400 followers, and I didn’t want to have this, this second Instagram account. But I said, “Okay, I’ll do this as an extension of my classroom, my students can follow– they’ll follow, like, it’ll be just a very much– thing that happens among the 140 students I teach. The first day I posted a video, I went viral. By the end of that semester, we were on the local news and I thought, okay, this journey is over, or it’s reached its peak, its climax. And a few days later we were on Good Morning America. And so from that moment on, everything radically shifted. I had hundreds of thousands of followers on TikTok, on Instagram, YouTube. I have all of these sort of platforms that have a lot of attention on them, where I’m doing this work with young people, and I started to reflect on that work. Let’s watch 15 seconds, we have time for 15 seconds, I feel like. Let’s just jump in and see what happens. Um, so these are actually two really good examples because you see something that’s very much youth culture, and then you have a song from my childhood, and our TLC, Baby-Baby-Baby. And so essentially what would happen was students would come to me and say, “Hey, I want to do this, I want to make this dance with you, I want to collaborate with you.” And it was never about getting followers, it was never about going viral or whatever it might mean. It was literally, “let’s build community, let’s do this fun thing together, let’s do this thing that brings us joy.” And that’s always what it was. At the same time, I would share parts of my culture, right? Like, oh, TLC, let’s talk about this and so on and so forth. And so throughout this journey, it kept getting bigger, bigger, bigger. And being the nerd that I am, I was like, “I need to research this and really figure out what’s happening and why it’s working.” And so for the last six, seven years or so, I’ve been, I’ve published four books on social media. Oftentimes, TikTok is the platform I’m really working with, and really looking at young people and teenagers today and how they’re using these platforms as not just a place to have fun and, you know, find enjoyment, but a place where they’re actually connecting with people, building community, where they’re learning about the world, learning about important social, cultural issues. They’re also learning about their identity, right, and they’re learning about how to fashion their identity and perform their identity. And so you might see something like a TikTok dance and think, “oh, that’s silly.” But that music, that’s how they’re learning about the dance, it’s how they’re learning about the music, that’s how they’re learning about fashion. It’s how they’re learning about the norms that have become part of Gen Z and now Gen Alpha, around the norms of what that generational culture looks like. And if you go into a high school dance today– I’ve chaperoned many dances, everyone, in my time there. And a song comes on that has a TikTok dance attached to it– that’s the dance they’re doing. This is how dance is circulating and how it’s really changing things. I only have a minute, but these are my two books that I think are most relevant, probably to people who are here today and the advice I always say is that– what happens with youth culture is that adults diminish it. We say, “Oh, that doesn’t matter. It’s silly. It has no meaning.” And what I always encourage teachers to do, and parents, and people that are working with or around young people, is to really– instead of build that barrier to belittle the culture or joke about the culture or to laugh about it, whatever it might be, that builds a barrier, it build the wall– and instead really talk to young people and try to understand, hey, like, “What is this thing?” You might not want to be on TikTok, you might want to do a dance with them, but really trying to understand what it is that makes this thing popular and why it is an important space. When we had the TikTok ban and we’re still in the middle of that, right? But in January, when it went away for two days, you had young people crying and they were very upset about this. And a lot of adults not on TikTok were like, “Good, TikTok shouldn’t exist. We shouldn’t have TikTok” without realizing that this is their third space, right? Right now we have– and I’m wrapping up– right now, we have so few spaces for young people to go where they’re welcome, and where they feel seen and comfortable. And so they end up going to social media and that’s the playground that they have, right? In the same way that we might have went to the mall or the arcade, so on and so forth. So, I can elaborate more in Q&A, but that’s sort of what my research is about. These are the two books that are most relevant. And I’ll drop my Instagram in the chat, or TikTok in case you want to follow and see what else I’m doing.

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: How many followers are you up to right now? 

[Dr. Trevor Boffone]: I– I was going to say “I don’t know” but it’s about 335,000.

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: So, it’s definitely an influencer or micro-influencer. So, I really love what you said, and I was you answered that question that I was going to say, like you– what I think really led to this interest in the virality was you opened yourself up to listening to the adolescents, to your students and not judging it, and you just explored it, and those videos were great. I loved your tongue hanging out. 

[Dr. Trevor Boffone]: Can’t help it.

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: But I think that– I always give the advice to parents, you know, rather than judge their media world, that you should think about– try saying three positive things a week about it. Versus like, because we’re so used to as parents– and I’m guilty of it, I did the same thing of like– “What, you’re on that again? What is that weird YouTube thing you’re watching?” But instead, when you’re positive and you’re open, and if you give yourself a goal like three to five positive things a week and force yourself to do it, you will be surprised at what comes back to you because as Trevor said, this is their third space. 

[Dr. Trevor Boffone]: Absolutely.

[Dr. Trevor Boffone]: You have anything you want to add in, or do you want me to ask an official question? 

[Dr. Trevor Boffone]: Oh, you can go official. Go official. 

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: Okay. These are some of the pre questions. Does identity development online look different from how teens used to do it before, how they constructed their identity? 

[Dr. Trevor Boffone]: You know, I was thinking– I think about this a lot because when I was growing up in the 90s, early 2000, but really the 90s when I was coming of age, we were finding our fashion, we were finding our dance moves, the music we listened to on MTV, right? MTV was that space. We might have watched it separately, we might have watched it together, but we would watch those music videos, we would watch the TRL or whatever it might have been. And that’s how we learned how to dance, we learned what songs were popular. And of course there was the radio as well. And that’s how things circulated. And so I don’t see it as that different. What I do see is different now is that it is more participatory, right? So, people are encouraged, TikTok and really social media is all about mimicry and doing repetition of things. And so essentially people are encouraged to actually participate in these dances and learn these different trends and so on and so forth. And what you might see on my platform is, let’s say there’s like 20 students you might see over time. There’s a lot of stuff that was made where we just made to have fun. It was never posted, they didn’t want it posted, they wanted to have it for their own just to send their friends and so on and so forth. So, we’re still doing things similar to what we were doing before, it’s just happening in a radically different way. And I think what’s scary for a lot of adults is that it has changed so fast, right? The culture has shifted so fast in how culture is made and where it is made. And so I think that is scary. And that is why I think a lot of people demonize screens. And of course, screens have their issues, I’m sure we’ll talk about that today. But in my experience, it’s best to learn to live with them and learn to adapt to what screens can actually do to improve, you know, confidence, self-confidence, to improve perception of self, to improve a lot of different things. So that’s– those are my thoughts for now. 

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: That was great. Thank you very much. We’re going to move on to our next speaker. So, I am thrilled to introduce Chia-chen Yang. Chia-chen Yang’s research centers on the psychosocial development of young people in the digital age. Specifically, she studies the role digital media plays in shaping young people’s identity, social relationships, and socioemotional well-being– things I study too! Based on standardized citation metrics published by Elsevier and Stanford, Dr. Yang’s single year research achievements have ranked her in the world’s top 2% of scientists in her field for four consecutive years. I know how hard that is, so that is pretty amazing and I’m very honored she actually has read some of my studies as well. So, I’m going to hand it off to you, and look forward to your presentation. 

[Dr. Chia-chen Yang]: Thank you Dr. Ulhs. Hi everyone. It’s a great pleasure to be here. Alright, so, again, thank you for having me. Today, I’d like to share with you how young people present themselves on social media, and how different types of online self-presentation relate to their identity development. I’d like to start with a quick overview of how self-presentation informs identity development. Self-presentation refers to strategically presenting aspects of ourselves depending on the context we’re in, in order to influence how other people perceive us. And when people decide on what to present and how to present themselves, they’re actively processing self-related information. And this self-reflection helps us organize what we know about ourselves. Then once we put an image out there, we get verbal and/or nonverbal feedback, which tells us whether we should keep this image an identity or whether there’s some changes we should make to it. So, basically, self-presentation informs identity by number one, activating self-reflection, and number two, giving us a chance to receive feedback from other people. This applies to both offline and online self-presentation. When young people present themselves on social media, this experience is different from their offline experience in two major ways. Number one, they now have more time to decide how to present themselves. They can take literally fifty selfies and try out 20 different filters before picking the right one, and post it on social media. Also, audience feedback now becomes measurable and highly visible. Teens can see how many likes and comments and views each post has received. So what it means is, today, when kids post their images on social media, they have more control over their self-presentation and they get instant feedback on which image and which message is best accepted by their peers. This is important, powerful, and meaningful, because adolescence is a prime time when young people try to figure out who they are, receive feedback from their peers, and develop a positive and coherent sense of self. But there are also downsides. Because the process has become so public and constant, teens can become preoccupied with their online image, and they can become disappointed and embarrassed when their posts do not receive enough attention, likes, and comments, because they assume that they’re hundreds or even thousands of social media friends will notice that their posts are not popular enough. Scholars have noted that teens can engage in at least three types of social media self-presentation. These three types are not mutually exclusive, but each has its own implication for identity development. The first type is positive self-presentation. This is where people showcase their friendship, share the happy moments they enjoy, and the achievements they’re proud of. This is the most common type of self-presentation. Most young people engage in this when they post images online. And the good news is that positive self-presentation is related to better identity outcomes, which is not surprising because when we post good things about ourselves, we’re reminding ourselves of everything we value and cherish and enjoy. So that’s related to higher self-esteem and a clear sense of self. The second type is known as authentic self-presentation. Here is where young people’s online image aligns with how they really feel and how they behave in the offline context. Some adults assume that young people today do not care about authenticity because all they want is to showcase a positive image. But that’s not how young people feel. When they speak to scholars, they think that they actually value authenticity a lot, which is why they work hard to maintain both positivity and authenticity in their online self-presentation. And the key here is to be selective. So, if someone posts the picture of an award with a caption saying “I’m so proud and I’m so grateful” without telling the audience that they had tried ten times before actually winning the award, they’re still being authentic because they did win the award, and they do feel grateful. So simply because they choose not to reveal all the backstories, and simply because they’re being selective, it does not compromise their authenticity. Again, the good news is, most young people are actually pretty authentic when they engage in online self-presentation, and when they do it, they get more positive feedback from their social media network, which then contributes to higher self-esteem and a clear sense of self. The third type is called intimate or deep self-presentation. This is when people share very personal and private stories in the digital space. Now, this is more like a double-edged sword, because when people share those stories, for example, it could be a fight they’ve recently engaged in with their friend, or it could be a new romance that’s recently developing. On the one hand, they feel like they get support from their social media network, but at the same time, they also become anxious about how people might judge them because of what they have shared. And of course, not to mention that this personal information could be misused against the posters. So in general, positive and authentic self-presentations are tied to better identity outcomes, whereas intimate self-presentation is more like a mixed bag. But there are caveats to even the theoretically less concerning type of self-presentations. For positive self-presentation, teams need to be careful not to slip into that mindset of being a perfectionist. If they aim to achieve perfection in all their posts, especially when it comes to physical appearance, this can lead to preoccupation with their online self-presentation, which is related to excessive use of digital media and body image concerns. For authentic self-presentation, teens need to be mindful of the unintended consequences, and this is especially important for marginalized youth because their authentic self-presentation can overlap to a great extent with intimate self-presentation. So gender and sexual minority youth may share their gender and sexual identities online, and immigrant youth may choose to open up about their immigration experiences. Although these practices are empowering, they can also put youth at risk. So adults should help adolescents identify these unintended consequences. And if they still decide to reveal those personal stories, make sure they find a safe space to do so. So what are some things we can do to help young people thrive in the digital age? Well, number one, let’s not dismiss the meaningfulness of online self-presentation and peer feedback. It’s really how young people figure out who they are, express themselves, and receive feedback from their peers in the digital age. We can chat with teens about what they and their friends post online. These conversations will give parents a general idea of whether your teens are engaged with social media and digital media in a healthy way. We can also ask teens which influencers or public figures they and their peers are following. This can be especially useful if they don’t feel comfortable sharing with you what they themselves are posting. By following these influencers, you’ll get good insight into the norms and expectations your teens are navigating. We can also tell teens they can hide those quantifiable metrics, the number of likes and comments and views. This can take some pressures off so that they don’t feel like, “oh, my friends are always scrutinizing whether my posts are popular enough.” And finally, share with teens the pros and cons of different types of digital self-presentation. If they’re mostly posting positively and authentically, they’re probably doing fine, although there are certainly caveats. Now, for intimate self-presentation, let them know that yes, there are pros and cons, and if you do decide to post personal stories, make sure you’re doing it in a safe space, there are some groups that are more supportive. But still come up with some backup plan just in case things don’t work out as well. And of course, keep communication open. Let them know that if they ever encounter anything that’s upsetting, they should come talk to you so that you can figure out something together. And I think that’s all the time I have. Thank you.

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: Thank you so much for– and it looks like we’re seeing some similar recommendations: Talk to your children, be open to them, don’t dismiss their experience, and help them minimize the harms because there may be some harms. But really, if you don’t have that kind of relationship where you’re actually able to talk to your children, they may not open up to you. So, I’m going to ask you one question. What ways of participating in online cultures are positive for youth development, and how can parents support their children’s mental health in this process? 

[Dr. Chia-chen Yang]: Yeah, so, in general, if young people are using digital media to supplement, to enhance their social interactions, especially the ones with people with whom they already have some offline connections, it’s usually a good thing. Honestly, it’s not that different from what we did when we were younger, right? It’s just we did it through landline phones and now they’re using a more powerful platform. And so if that’s how they use it, it’s probably, like, you don’t have to worry too much about it. But there are two things I would like to maybe pay closer attention to. One is social comparison. This is such a common experience that young people have when they approach digital media. Social comparison means comparing ourselves with other people. It’s natural, all of us are doing it even before social media became a thing, because we need to figure out where we stand in the social group. The problem with social comparison on social media is most people selectively post polished images online. So when kids go to social media, they easily always compare themselves with people who seem to be better off. So, it becomes overwhelming and they can easily feel like “I’m not as good as other people.” And so one thing I would do is to start a conversation with teens and ask them to reflect upon how they post things online. And they’ll probably tell you, “yeah, I’ll post things that make me feel look good, I never post things that embarrass myself.” And then from there you can remind them like, “Yes, guess what, that’s all your– what your friends are doing too.” And so–  and it can’t be just a one time conversation because it’s so powerful. Even as adults, we do that all the time, so it’s easy to forget. So, continue those conversations and remind them that, “okay, what you see online is not the full spectrum of reality that your friends are going through.” Another thing is what we call approval anxiety. Kids worry so much about how their posts would be judged. And so kind of like what I said in the presentation. Encourage them to hide those metrics. As a profile owner, they’ll still see the numbers, which is not a bad thing, that’s how they learn about peer norms. But by hiding the numbers, they’ll feel less scrutinized and judged by their peers.

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: Excellent advice, thank you so much. 

[Dr. Chia-chen Yang]: Thank you.

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: So now it’s my pleasure to introduce Sarah Grimes. Dr. Grimes is the Wolfe Chair in Scientific and Technology Literacy and a Full Professor in the Department of Communication Studies at McGill University. Dr. Grimes is an award winning author and PI, principal investigator of the Child Appropriate Game Design Project, an international examination of age-appropriate design and digital games. Her new book, Kidfluence, explores findings from research she held over the past decade on mapping the opportunities and the challenges of children’s cultural participation in the digital environment, and the implications for children’s rights, creativity and well-being. Thank you, Sarah.

[Dr. Sarah Grimes]: Thank you so much. So, thank you so much for inviting me here today to speak to you about games as spaces where kids’ culture unfolds. Games are often where key cultural experiences are created, learned, and negotiated in various ways by kids of all ages. As an academic researcher focused on understanding how digital technologies can better support kids’ play, creativity, and well-being, games are central to my work, and they’re central to the lives of the children who participate in my studies. The research consistently shows that in places like the U.S., most children under 12 play video games of some kind on a regular basis. And research continues to show that the same goes for teens. And there’s a number of reasons why kids play and how they get into it, and different types of games that they engage with. But our research has really focused on trying to find out kids’ perspectives of why games are important, what they get out of it that’s beneficial, that they find supportive of their play, and the things that they enjoy and find positive in their lives. As well as the things that they find less positive or detrimental, and what they think we should do about it in terms of design changes, as well as potential policy, regulatory recommendations. So why do kids play games? Well, because, number one, it’s fun and entertaining. But kids also see games as key places for learning. And it’s not necessarily learning about school topics, but rather about things like names, and trends, and places to learn about the world, the larger world. Many kids also see games as a place to learn new technical skills, from coding and graphic design to editing and finding useful workarounds. And games are also spaces kids use to connect with their real-world friends and family, and to build new social relationships. They’re spaces for creativity, and a growing number of kids now make their own games and game-related media, or use games as a jumping off point for more traditional forms of art-making and writing. For many kids, games are a way of being part of the broader culture. But games are also part of kids’ own culture. Even for kids who don’t play games themselves, the characters, themes, YouTubers, and trends from popular games can be pervasive in the cultures of children. They pop up during games of make-believe on the playground, in conversations with peers, and in group projects at school. So, games can provide the forums, the spaces, the tools, and connections for all of these things to happen. When I was asked to talk about the culture of online games, I struggled initially to figure out how to narrow it all down because there’s so many different types of games and so many different ways of playing, and all of these different subcultures that emerge around all of those different genres and devices and play modes. But I decided to focus on some of the biggest trends happening right now. And we’ll get to that in a second, but I just wanted to preface this with this acknowledgment that just like books or TV or music, there are diverse genres in this space, and there’s diverse players and types of players, and many different kids play in very different ways. Okay. So, the big trends that I wanted to get into. <any of you have likely heard about Fortnite, Roblox or Minecraft. They are among the top ranked games for both teens and children in the U.S., which is kind of unique and rare, actually, and it’s noteworthy for many other reasons, relating to the fact that they can be played online with dozens or hundreds of other players. In fact, these games have populations in the tens of millions and should be thought of more like, as was already mentioned here today, as playgrounds or theme parks, rather than as discrete games. Really, these are platforms featuring millions of game options, different places and things that you can do. Many of them were made by other players, including by kids, by other kids, and others were made by professional game developers or other companies. Often, there are games in these spaces, and definitely these three spaces, that serve as promotional vehicles, to advertise brands or other media properties. They are revenue generating, often through microtransactions, buying little items, buying costumes for your avatar, buying different monetary advantages and rewards. So it’s kind of like a mall where kids hang out and play, but also browse. Browse for products, look at trends, find out about things, and maybe buy things. Or, you know, it’s like the internet more generally. There’s lots of content, there’s lots of advertising, there are lots of cool opportunities, and there’s lots of stuff to avoid as well. One of the really useful, kind of, frameworks that I use in my work, and that others who are interested in the cultural aspect of kids gaming use as well, is the concept of game worlds as a way of understanding how kids experience all of these myriad different types of things and different types of content and people. So game worlds can be seen as, you know, they’re hybrid, they’re creative, and they’re multilayered experiences. And they include a lot of different things: Playing, socializing, offline, online, people, and things, and activities. Cultural references like memes and movies. DIY content–  do it yourself content– amateur content made by other kids, but also commercial content, and it’s kind of all within that world and can be visited and used in different ways at different times. These game worlds are increasingly accessible, accessed across devices– so you can play on your console, you can play on your phone–and spheres, you engage at school and at home and at different places as well. And kids often game and engage with these worlds using multiple apps– not just Roblox, not just Minecraft, but other types of apps such as for doing voice chat with their friends– and devices at once. And the creations that they make tend, not always, but tend to also bring in these referential characteristics where they’re referencing other games, where they’re referencing pop culture or different, you know, memes and jokes that have come up in the community, or in their own local communities of friends and peers. A big part of the game world extends beyond the game world. It’s game– it’s parasocial play through gameplay viewership, where we’re not only thinking about games as a thing that you play yourself, but games as a way that you engage with YouTube culture, video culture, and influencer culture. And this is where you’re kind of embedded in the game, engaging with games without playing or when not actively playing. So these are– include “let’s play” videos, which shows both gameplay footage and players’ reactions and commentary. They’re especially popular among children and teens and part of the broader youth digital culture. And kids also make these types of videos themselves. And interestingly, for younger kids, a number of researchers have found that younger kids sometimes pretend to make these types of videos themselves, either while they’re playing a game or completely separate from any technological engagement. So, the big takeaway here is really, there is no magic circle when it comes to playing games. And I could talk about how this extends beyond just digital games, but I think that the really important thing for parents to think about when they’re making decisions and trying to help their kids negotiate which games to choose, which games to play, and how to play them, is to remember that for an increasing number of kids, playing a game involves a bunch of other things. And so it’s– it does increase the amount of work that’s involved in trying to assess and make choices. But the sooner to kind of like realize this, the easier it becomes to ask the right questions and to start keeping track of the things that you need to keep track of as your kids traverse across these different realms with their friends, benefiting from creative tools, trying to get this sense of cultural belonging and participation, but also bringing them out of a particular, you know, rated E for everyone space or platform that you think you’ve vetted and that you know already. Within all of these things, there are game designs and ancillary apps, and commercial practices, and other players that aren’t kid-friendly and that aren’t going to be the types of people and content and experiences that your kids want to seek out, not necessarily enjoy being exposed to, and are things that a lot of parents are worried about and want to watch for. Games can contain all kinds of elements that don’t align with kids’ best interests or their vulnerabilities. And some games are made for mature audiences, they’re not designed for kids, and I’m not necessarily talking about those. Even within game spaces that seem very kid-friendly, there can be little elements and experiences that aren’t. So, we talked about Roblox and Minecraft. These are great examples of games that can be very appropriate for kids in certain spaces, but where there’s all kinds of adult-oriented and teen-oriented things as well. And the types of things that kids can encounter there include things like toxicity and harassment and the–  we don’t have good figures, statistics on how many kids have encountered this, but for small scale studies, they found that it is the majority. And kids have very diverse levels of literacy and kind of like skills and resiliency with knowing what to do when this happens. With the emergence of AI technologies across all these different spaces, of course all of these different components are becoming amplified, all of the opportunities as well as the risks, making it more important than ever that we pay attention to how kids are navigating the game worlds. So I wanted to end with some tips for parents that are all sound very familiar to what we’ve already heard. Stronger together: Communication and collaboration between parents and children about online safety is crucial for building kids resiliency and digital literacy, and reducing harm. Safety settings and parental controls tend to be underused by parents and misunderstood by kids. They’re not perfect, and they require ongoing check-ins and tweaks, but they’re a worthwhile first line of defense in many spaces, and they can provide a really excellent and easy entry point for conversations between parents and kids about key issues like cyberbullying, and ads, and privacy. And like everyone else I think so far, listen, learn, and make links. Understanding how, where, and why kids are playing and or making games is vital for effectively guiding them towards age appropriate and positive digital play. And there’s a knowledge transfer that can happen here once you have a better understanding of how these game spaces work. You can also apply your own experience, which is extensive, of the world and of digital technology more generally, to kind of show the expertise that you have, as well as receive the expertise and teachings from your child. Right. And you can learn more about some of these issues in my book, Digital Playgrounds, as well as on my lab website where I talk about the work that we’re doing on child-appropriate game design. And thank you very much.

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: Thank you, Sarah. Unfortunately, we’re running a little bit late, so I’m not going to be able to ask you a question but we will pick it up in the full Q&A. I personally am very interested in having a conversation with everyone about these conversational AIs that are becoming companions or being, you know, developed to become companions. I really am quite interested in whether there’s any reason to actually develop these for kids. But let’s go on to Dr. Bradley Bond. Bradley Bond is a Professor and a Chair of the Department of Communication at the University of California. His research examines parasocial relationships with media, persona, and the influence of media on identity and outgroup attitudes among adolescents. His current work focuses on the depiction of marginalized individuals in entertainment media and its effects on identity, stereotypes, and prejudices. Dr. Bond is regularly featured in popular media, and you can tell his work aligns with us. He serves on the Advisory Council for our center, the Center for Scholars and Storytellers, and he’s consulted for major media outlets including Disney, Warner Brothers and Sony. So thank you, Bradley. Take it away. 

[Dr. Bradley Bond]: Thank you, Yalda. And thank you to the Institute of Digital Media and Child Development for having me as part of this Children and Screens webinar. I am here today to share a little bit of information about a term that has entered the jargon of popular press, but has a long history in social science research, and that is the idea of a parasocial relationship. Parasocial relationships are a little bit unique from the kind of relationships that we’ve talked about up to this point, which are kind of social relationships that are developed in these online spaces, or parasocial relationships are those that are one sided. They lack reciprocity. They have no mutual connection to the other individual in the relationship. So, they’re more of a perception of a social or emotional bond with somebody that we do not know outside of screen life. The idea of parasocial relationships was coined in the 1950s, by social psychologists who were studying television. So, this is not a new concept, but we’ve seen the idea of these social emotional bonds with individuals that we only know through screens intensify in the age of online communities and digital spaces. So, I’m going to share with you a little bit about where this idea came from, and then why it’s so relevant to think about with regards to young people and their use of media today. The image of the woman behind the microphone here is of a radio broadcaster who went by the name of Lonesome Gal in the 1940s and the Lonesome Gal was a late night radio host, who spoke in a very soft voice and kind of gave advice on relationships and tips. And the producers found that there was a huge population of single men who were writing in to the Lonesome Gal expressing their feelings for her. Somebody they had never met, nor somebody they had never even seen before, because she was on the radio. In fact, when she was photographed, she wore this bandit mask that you can see in the image because she wanted men to be able to create whatever perspective that they wanted of what she actually looked like to kind of self-fulfill, their emotional connections. This idea that we develop these connections to people we’ve never met before started with examples and anecdotes like the Lonesome Gal and moved into late night television when individuals who were presenting information, late night hosts, newscasters, would speak directly to the screen. So we have studied this idea of developing an emotional connection to somebody we don’t know for at least 50 years. And we found that these relationships develop very similarly to our real life relationships. That attraction to these individuals, social attraction, a feeling of similarity, which is what homophily means there. Your attachment styles. So, the kind of attachment styles that make us feel like we need social connection also predict our parasocial reality, as well as whether or not we sense interaction with these individuals. Now, we rarely actually are interacting with individuals on screen, but we have a perception that they are speaking to us. And the higher that these factors kind of come together and are perceived by an audience member, the more likely they are to develop a parasocial relationship, which, as I noted, is not really different from what we know about interpersonal relationship development. Now, when it comes to these concepts online, I want to share a few points that really stand out in terms of thinking about why young people are developing fairly intense parasocial relationships with influencers, with fictional characters, with people that they’ve never met in real life, and why they’re important for their social network. One of these aspects is accessibility. We know that over 70% of young people say that they are unconsciously reaching for their phone and getting on social media when they’re bored. Over half of young people say that they’re doing this, particularly when they feel like they are alone or bored. 24% of young people in a survey in 2024 said that they are on social media constantly, and 59% daily. These individuals, these YouTube influencers, these gamers, these people who are live streaming their lives are accessible, far more accessible than traditional celebrity would have been prior to online communities. So, we simply know that they are available, right? If you’re feeling lonely and you want to see somebody who feels like a friend but you don’t have access to your real life friends, it’s pretty easy to get online in 2025 and access these influencers who might feel like they’re people that we know. A study of mine with about 650 California high school students found that individuals who stated that they followed these individuals on Twitter or X, were more likely to also share that they had a stronger intensity in feeling like they were socially, emotionally connected to the individuals that they’re following. Twitter/X is a great example of this. If you think about a celebrity or even in 1980, you might follow that celebrity, but that might mean listening to the albums that they release or seeing them on late night television once a season. Maybe a magazine does a write up about that individual and you get to know a little bit more about them. But today, celebrities like Katy Perry, for example, are tweeting between 7 and 14 times a day with just small doses of backstage influence, telling you things like favorite tastes, favorite likes, think things that they wish they were eating, movies that they were going to see. And now we feel so much more connected to those individuals because we feel like we’re getting to know them on a personal level. We also know that these individuals tend to be relatable, particularly influencers. There is a study of– that is not of my own doing, but a recent study that actually found when individuals live stream and when they are posting vlogs, that when they have errors in the way in which they speak, we tend to give them higher levels of personhood. We see them more like they are human, and, in turn, feel like we could develop that social-emotional bond. This makes sense. We speak to each other in interpersonal situations using verbal fillers, using broken sentences. If this research holds, then my presentations should more likely develop a real strong social-emotional bond with my audiences, because I always use a couple fillers and broken sentences when I’m– when I’m speaking. This makes individuals feel more authentic, more realistic. And that is in comparison to maybe traditional celebrity, where if it’s being written up or, if it’s an article being written up or it’s something that we see on television, it’s much smoother, it’s much more polished and tailored. That’s not what we see in these kind of online spaces and so it increases this feeling of connection for young people. You heard Dr. Young and others talk about authenticity. That is incredibly important in the parasocial space. The same survey of around 650 California high school students found that– they found influencers to be far more relatable than they did a traditional celebrity. And in turn, they developed much stronger connections to those individuals than they do to traditional celebrities. So, these people who they know from online spaces are just like them. Part of that is the entry point. When we think about a big film star or a musician, very few of us are going to grow up to be a film star or musician. But the entry point is much lower for YouTube or TikTok. And so the people who are popular on these platforms feel like they’re just like you and I, and that I could do that if I wanted to, right? These are everyday people, and in turn, it strengthens that perception of a bond. Interestingly, these relationships can also be reciprocal, meaning that there is the opportunity for one time, computer-mediated interactions between online influencers and audiences. You might ask a question and they might respond to it in a video. This is not really the case with traditional celebrity in that we didn’t really have strong ways to interact with them. So, what you’re seeing here is from a study of over 1000 teens, nationally representative sample, and the strength of their parasocial connection to an influencer or somebody they only know online based on whether that person had responded to them or communicated with them in any way, shape or form. So, people who did have that experience, maybe your favorite celebrity retweeted you or did respond to something you posted to their Instagram, or you liked one of their videos and they responded to your like. These kinds of things intensify that relationship and that is unique from our traditional definition of parasocial reality, which lacks mutuality. When I think about parasocial reality in practice, the things that I would share are things that you have heard all five of us talk about, which I think is really important because we all created these presentations independently, and yet we come up with very similar recommendations for parents, clinicians, and others who work with children. And I often tell parents to ask, respect, sorry– accept, respect, ask, and regulate, meaning again, that we believe in what children are experiencing. We validate that, right? We don’t downplay their experience. We recognize that sometimes these relationships can feel very real because they are perceived to be real. And in fact, some research– we can talk about this in Q&A if you would like– but suggests that these are important connections in our social worlds. So, we should treat them as friendships. I always tell parents that if you’re interested in what your children are doing online, talk to them about their online connections the same way you would about their classmates, their teammates, or their friends that they have in real life. A great example of this to end on is, parasocial– when parasocial others experience tragedy, there have been several stories in the media of influencers who have died, for example, and people have really strong emotional responses to this, which in terms of parasocial relationship research makes sense. Because if these are people that you feel socially connected to, it would make sense you would go through the grieving process just as you would if you knew them. But oftentimes for children, their parents downplay those feelings because these aren’t people that they know. What’s important is to recognize that these are people that they feel like they know, and that we need to validate those feelings and those relationships and ask, and know their connections, know why they feel like they’re connected to these individuals and respect that. And that is what I will end with.

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: Thank you, Bradley. And since we’re running a little late, we’re just going to go straight into the overall Q&A. So can all the panelists come back? And we have a lot of interesting questions. One of them about gaming, that kind of is: Video gamers. So Sarah and I have my own answer, and I’m, I’m going to answer this first and then turn it to you. Video games involve kids in realms of total fantasy and deprive them of play experience in real world and real social skills development. What kind of skills will gamers develop for negotiating the real world from them? Perhaps, especially the neurodiverse gamers? It seems too dangerous from this perspective. There’s actually evidence that for neurodiverse, particularly children, who are on a– have ASD on the autism spectrum disorder, that they can learn social skills through gaming, that then they can transfer to the offline world. There’s evidence that while they’re playing, it feels like a safer environment it’s so hard for– and I have a neurodiverse kid who was a big gamer and who is now at Columbia University and was valedictorian of her class. So, I just want to say that, you know, as bad of a rep that they get there is also some positives. But for neurodiverse kids, they can learn these social skills and in a place that feels safer to them. And then if the adult can encourage them to start practicing those skills offline in the real world, they will have had some expertise and a place that felt safe. And I’ll hand it off to Sarah to answer that as well.

[Dr. Sarah Grimes]: Yeah, this is a great question. And it’s one that’s come up like since the beginning of video games, I would say, like 80s and even before, yeah. I mean, to, to kind of like speak to the heart of what you’re getting at in terms of the benefits of play in the real world, there are tons of benefits of play in the real world. And there are benefits of play in the virtual world, but I would never promote, like, virtual-only play either. I think that the big thing is balance. What I really see as valuable in terms of digital play is that it provides opportunities to engage in experimentation, in imagination, in connecting with others,and with ideas. And, you know, kind of like engaging, with these spaces and technologies that isn’t available in many other realms of digital technology interaction. I mean, there are all kinds of ways that we connect with YouTubers, and that’s fantastic. But there’s like a level of agency and kind of control and decision-making involved in gaming. You know, kids who don’t know how to like, code their own computer program, are still like, manipulating and engaging in this really important way in terms of, like, developing familiarity with technology, skills that transfer. There’s all kinds of research that shows that. But I guess I would say if our kids are growing up in a world surrounded by digital technologies, which they are, it’s really important that they have avenues and and entry points into engaging with those technologies that are made for them. That, you know, support the kinds of ways that they learn in their everyday lives, which is often, you know, through play and experimentation. So, yeah. Thanks for that. 

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: Yeah. And I think that’s– that can be stressed again. I don’t think anyone is saying – I think in real life socialization is critical and play is critical. And, none of us would ever encourage only being in the digital world. But our young people are adapting to these technologies as we did when we were younger, and as all different adolescent groups have. So, I think that really trying to understand and support them so that they make smart choices, and, you know, learn from them, because they know a lot more about it than we do sometimes, is important. And I’m going to read a few other questions. How can a parent know – and this could be for any of you – how can a parent know when their child is using social media or online games in an addictive or problematic way? Maybe, Chia-chen, you can answer that. 

[Dr. Chia-chen Yang]: Sure. So, in research there isn’t a specific definition like, oh, if you use it for these many hours, then you’re addicted. It’s not just defined by time. It’s, yes, excessive use as part of the symptom, but it’s also like cognitively you’re always preoccupied with this. Behaviorally, sometimes you even feel like you have to hide it from other people, because you know people will criticize. And I think for parents, the easiest marker we can use is probably whether you think this is interfering with their normal daily routines. So, they’re using it to the point where they can’t stay focused when they do their homework, they’re using it to the point where when they’re having– they even forget to eat. When they go to bed, they’re still scrolling it through for three, four hours, they’re losing sleep. So, that would be an indicator that it’s interfering with their daily functioning. 

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: That was really great advice and very specific, thank you. Okay. This one’s for Trevor. Should parents try to keep up with online trends to connect with their child, or is that embarrassing to the child? 

[Dr. Trevor Boffone]: Both. I think there’s a difference between showing a genuine interest and then trying too hard, right? Because at the end of the day, let’s all think about when we were teenagers. I remember my 14th birthday party. It was a surprise pool party. Well, actually, I guess it was just a luau. Anyway, we were by a pool. And my dad– we were dancing, my friends and I and my dad decided to, like, come in the middle of us and dance. And I remember being, like, mortified, like, stop it, dad. And so I think there’s a difference between if the child invites you to participate. And also, like my work is about dance, but, you know, it could be anything, right? It could be a lip-sync trend, it could be just like, oh, let’s review this food. If the child, if you show that genuine interest, and the child wants you to participate, they will invite you, right? They will say, “Hey, will you do this thing with me?” With you come and say, “Hey, like, I want to do this with you”. That might not come across as well, but if you show that genuine interest and they actually want to, then they’ll  invite you to do it with them. I have nieces and nephews who are, you know, 10- to 13- years old. And whenever I see them, they want to make videos and they say, “Oh, let’s do this thing”. It’s never me saying, “Hey, I’m the 39-year-old uncle, let’s do this thing”. And so I think that’s the difference. So it’s sort of like a yes. And like a both and neither situation. And I think the through line today seems to be that screens or no screens. You have to have relationships with your children. And I think it depends. Once you have those relationships you’ll understand, hey, my child is an extrovert or wants to do it this way, or my child doesn’t want me to even talk about it with them, you know, so on and so forth. But it’s really about having those conversations. And I think, you know, again, having an open mind and not, you know, even if inside your head you’re thinking, this is so stupid, this is so dumb, this is a waste of time, so on and so forth. You can’t say that, right? There’s other ways to have conversations without putting in the negative thoughts. And so that’s my advice. 

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: Yeah that’s great advice. And I think one thing I always tried as a parent, was to try to situate myself with my own media use, and sort of think back to my adolescence and go, is this really that different than X, is this really that different than Y? And when you’re able to do that, and I’ve heard different panelists today sort of talk about that a little bit in different ways, you may not judge them so harshly. 

[Dr. Trevor Boffone]: Right. And I mean, if we just look back at when we were kids or, you know, in the 90s, I literally in the summer watched TV for– all day, right? 

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: MTV.

[Dr. Trevor Boffone]: And, you know, we watched MTV, I watched Days of Our Lives, The Bold and The Beautiful. I didn’t know what was happening, but I was –

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: Miami Vice. 

[Dr. Trevor Boffone]: I was watching it with my mom, you know, yada yada. And so that was a screen, right? I was being raised with screens. It wasn’t necessarily in my hand. But, you know, we’ve always had– not always–but, you know, in recent decades we’ve had a strong screen presence, whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing, a different conversation. But what they’re doing now isn’t so different. It’s just the evolution of the technology. 

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: Yeah. Okay, Bradley. And then I’m going to ask this question to you, but I’m really interested in everyone’s answer. So, what role is AI playing in these online relationships?

[Dr. Bradley Bond]: That is a question I’m interested in. Every other panelists answer as well. Because I think that’s a question that we have not yet quite answered. I think it’s something that’s currently being explored. That they’re just like any other potential medium. I think that there are benefits and risks involved in AI. I will share that in a recent study conducted that– with Hope Lab, another kind of nonprofit group doing research in the space. We unexpectedly found that a significant number of marginalized young people are using AI devices for advice, or to establish some kind of support network. In this study, it was particularly related to gender identity and young people who are identified as trans or non-binary. And, there can be benefits to this, depending on the information that is being shared. But as we know, AI is only as good as the information that is put into it. And I think that we have to do– as academics, we have to do a really deep dive into algorithms and big data to really understand the potential influence. But I do think that young people are using these technologies, more at a faster rate than I think we as academics are even keeping up with. And, the–

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: This happens all the time. Now, what can we do? Tech. Tech moves quickly. Government, academia moves slowly. The answer is parents talking to their children and listening to their children, because we’re not going to solve– we’re not going to stop tech. AI is moving super quickly and often by people that don’t know child development and aren’t parents aren’t creating these AI tools, which is why Sarah’s digital design work is really important. There’s child-centric design a lot of people are studying. It’s really critical for us to raise our hands and not take it away with, like, the TikTok ban. You know, not– that doesn’t work because that’ll make kids not talk to you. And we need to be there for our kids, and we need to talk to them about it and help them learn to make their own minds and make smart choices. There was a study that AI just recently came out that said AI is more persuasive than a human, so, and, it is meant to be very comforting, It is meant to make you feel good. But in the wrong hands, and with someone programming without expertise in child development, that is going to be– could be used, or could say something that might lead to marginalized youth or any use down the wrong path. So, my call is to really think about these kinds of conversations. Parents stepping up and to the tech companies, integrating and listening to child development experts and having transparency. Okay, I have–I’m off my soapbox. Anyone else? Yeah, go. 

[Dr. Sarah Grimes]: Thanks. Yeah. I completely agree with both of you. And I would just add from our research with kids and other people I’ve talked to who are speaking with children about AI and how they feel about it. Kids are also working like they’re full of hope, of course, because it can be so seemingly wonderful. But there’s all kinds of concerns. So there– they are allies to us, to parents and teachers in like thinking about this in a really kind of ambivalent way, right? There’s like positives, but there’s also negatives. And how do we navigate this? And I think it’s a real opportunity for working together like, you know, as partners, in identifying what the risks are and identifying the opportunities together. It’s like one of the few times where we’re tackling, we’re tackling this as  novices, most of us. Right? Oh, I’m sorry about that. So I, yeah, I think that kids are also, have a, have a large role, in, in this conversation, and identifying like, how we move forward. 

[Dr. Trevor Boffone]: I also would add that when we talk about AI, a lot of times people assume we’re talking about ChatGPT or, you know, written AI, I suppose. I’m not sure. Y’all know what I’m talking about? But, from what I’ve seen on TikTok, Instagram, a lot of times the dangers of AI is actually things like deepfakes and misinformation being spread, right? Where you’re seeing a video, you’re like, oh, this is that person. Whether it’s pictures, we see this a lot, the pictures, but even videos, right? And people assume, oh, I’m seeing this, that’s Taylor Swift, I don’t know, with the new Pope. I don’t know why that’s the example I came up with. But people assume these things are real, right? And everything they see is a real thing. And so I think also this goes back to the conversations about digital literacy, but also like critical thinking and the importance of checking sources, right? So, you know, the first thing when someone says, “Oh, did you hear about, you know, X”? Not Twitter, but let’s say a, A, B or C. I immediately am like, “Okay, well I haven’t heard of this”. I need to actually– Before I can have an opinion, I need to actually like look at the information because it’s sort of like playing telephone, right? Where the information is changing every time, right? And so I think again, the AI is doesn’t seem like it’s going away. But again, I think it’s the part of this is, you know, having those conversations about who trusts just blindly trusting the things we’re seeing online. 

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: And I like what you just said, because you’re modeling that for your child too, if you hear about something, If you model that and say, somebody said you read a headline that says, you know, “it’s ruining the world” or blah, blah blah, but let me go check this out. Let me see if I can figure out where. I used to always beat up my kids, because I was getting my PhD while I was– they were in their tween years, and I’d be like, “is there a peer-reviewed study?” And now I’m like, stop it. Peer reviewed studies aren’t the be all, end all, even though they’re quite good. But anyone else? Do you want to say anything, Chia-chen? 

[Dr. Chia-chen Yang]: Yeah, yeah. So, this is something I kind of want to study as the next step. And initially, you know I was wondering like, how does the conversation with AI might impact people’s level of loneliness and social skills, social competence? And initially the image I had in mind was it’s probably a small group of people who are lonely already, who don’t have great social connections, who reach out to AI to compensate for what they don’t have. But what surprised me was I saw a report a few weeks ago. I can’t remember whether it was done in the US or Taiwan, but it says back in 2024 they asked people the main reasons why you used AI like ChatGPT? Information seeking was the top one reason and companionship was like very low in the rank. In 2025, companionship ranked number one. So, what that means, and I don’t know about methodology, but I think what it tells us is at least in some corner of the world, it’s not no longer just a small group of people. It’s getting more and more common that people use it to compensate for the things they don’t feel comfortable talking about in real life. I also know their apps, that’s designed specifically for people to explore sexuality-related issues. You can talk to an AI romantic partner. So, that– the kind of comfort and affirmation you don’t necessarily get, you can get it from AI. So what does it tell us? And I think, again, it comes back to the kind of guidance adults can provide. On the one hand, if that’s all the interaction they have, it could develop a distorted reality, because in real life there’s always going to be conflict. No one’s ever going to comfort you and make you feel good all the time. So, you have to learn how to deal with conflicts and resolve those conflicts. But at the same time, what if we use this as a tool? Adults can say, “okay, look, when you say this to the AI, how does it respond to you that makes you feel good? And that’s the kind of skill you can develop for yourself when you interact with other people.”

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: That’s really good advice. Again, and it’s sort of talking about, you know, what you were talking about when you post your selfies and you know, you only let yourself, you know. Helping your child critically think about this stuff is going to go much longer and be more.

And it’s the way we’ve traditionally adapted to media use. You know, we teach our children well, and then they learn to make their own decisions, and they worry about it too. My daughter said to me, she wishes, you know, she didn’t have Instagram, you know? And another girl, a teenage girl, said if her friends weren’t on it, she would delete it. So, the reality is our kids are feeling many of the same things we are. And if we work with them to help them process it. One other thing I would say, as a storyteller and former storyteller, watch movies and talk to them. You know, Blade Runner, you know what, Her. There’s so many stories where storytellers have really sort of imagined the future of AI to both a positive and negative, and you can have really deep conversations with your kids, watching some of these things. Okay, one more question, I think– well, we actually have pretty good time, but–

[Dr. Chia-chen Yang]: I want to say one more thing here. Children and Screens actually had a podcast on this not very long ago. And one thing that also kind of surprised me, but it’s exciting to know, is young children as young as 3 or 4 years old, they actually understand AIs are not real humans. So, it kind of resonates with what Dr. Uhls and Dr. Grimes are saying here. They worry is not just that this is as we do, so we have a good chance to work with children and teens to make it work for all of us. 

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: So good. So, “Adolescence” was a show that was a big hit on Netflix, and it brought out a lot of parent worries. And I think this question may be related to that. So, any of you can answer. We are working on, in fact, we just threw a big event around social media, gaming, and traditional media around masculinity. So, we are trying to get storytellers to think about these things, but how can you assess what is healthy in different subcultures, what isn’t, and how to manage boundaries? How can we support young boys when they encounter potentially harmful subcultures, toxic masculinity, manosphere, red-pill community? And I just want to say what was in “Adolescence”. Again, we are talking about a small percentage of it’s not all kids. It really isn’t. But it is very important for all of us as parents to recognize, when and I think Chia-chen gave you some good examples of, are they for hours in their room, scrolling after bedtime? The signs to worry. But for most kids, especially if they have open communication with their parents and feel safe. They– you don’t have to worry. But for the lonely kids who feel very isolated, you might. So, anyone can answer this question.

[Dr. Sarah Grimes]: I’ll speak from the, I guess, game-outward perspective. Is there have been studies that have shown games are kind of being used occasionally again, as it’s not the majority, it’s a small minority, but used as a gateway for kind of like introducing young boys in particular, sometimes girls too, into this toxic subculture. Usually by getting them to then leave, you know, Roblox or Minecraft, and join a Discord server where things are, you know, escalate fairly quickly. I think that there’s a couple of things, you know, we just keep saying the same thing in a way. But every time will be very, very different. But this open communication is really important. And what I advise parents, and how I approach this with my own children is really naming what that is. I think what happens to a lot of younger kids and it– they’re first introduced sometimes at a much younger age than you’d assume–to you know, a very teen version of what eventually can become, very toxic and harmful ideology. But when they first encounter it, they don’t know what it is. They’re not naming it. It’s usually not something that we talk to our kids about. How often do we talk to our eight year olds about sexism and misogyny? But if we’re going to let them be out in the world like we do need to do that, there are ways of putting it in terms, using words, using examples that are age-appropriate, but still flag it to them as something that is– something that you’re aware of. First of all, it’s not some secret world that they’re being, you know, brought into behind your back, which is part of the appeal, and it’s part of the strategies that are used by these people who are targeting children. It’s the secret, right? As with so many risk behaviors, you know about it. This is the name of it. These are the consequences of it. And this is why, you know, it’s important to talk to whichever parent or caregiver or teacher is trusted when these things are encountered. So, I think naming it, keeping lines of communication open, and don’t underestimate how the trajectory can happen from a Minecraft meme, you know, into something that’s much more detrimental. It happens through jokes, it happens through playfulness. It’s all fine and good until it’s a normalization of extremely destructive ideologies and behaviors, and it can happen quite young. So, hopefully that answers your question. It’s such an interesting and hard issue. Yeah. 

[Dr. Yalda Ulhs]: That was excellent advice. Yeah, and I definitely think, I’m sorry, we’re just flagging time. So, we unfortunately, have to wrap up, and I want to thank all of the panelists and I want to thank the Institute of Digital Media and Child Development for having us, and Children and Screens, I’m going to just say one minute because I’m allowed to, even though I was on my soapbox a little bit before. But I did think this one question, it feels inequitable to place the burden on families. How would– and I completely agree, there’s so much pressure on families and caregivers to, and teachers, to take care of all the needs of children. The reality is the tech companies should be thinking about children more, they should be thinking about design, they should be talking to people like us and really listening to us, they should make their data transparent. They’re not doing it as much as they should. And government works very, very slowly. And so ultimately, yes, we can try to regulate. Yes, we can try to shame. We try to get tech to do the– and traditional media do the right thing. We need some public shaming. Parents have and caregivers have way– and young people as Dr. Grimes said, have a lot more understanding and awareness. So, we have to also just open those lines of communication with our young people and hope that they will learn how to navigate the digital world safely as well. Thank you. 

[Kris Perry]: Thank you for joining us for today’s conversation on how youth are growing up online and what it means for their development. The kind of impactful research that you heard about today is essential for understanding and driving positive change for children, families, and communities. Whether you’re joining us for the first time today or have engaged with our work for years, we invite you to support this work by contributing to our Research Grants program. Every dollar you give goes directly to funding critical research that helps inform better policies, smarter design, and healthier environments for kids growing up in a digital world. Thank you for being a part of this important effort. Give a listen to our webby-nominated podcast, Screen Deep, designed for intellectually curious listeners, blending accessible storytelling with engaging conversations grounded in rigorous research. New episodes drop every three weeks. Thank you.